The Soulful Atom

Struggling with a blunted twang from the past.. A wild bout of rain helped me squeeze into the present, with its shooting noisy rage and passion for meeting the earth. As if she found out he betrayed her and wants to make it up to her..
The cold freshness filled the air with feelings and emotions once long forgotten.. the sensations felt aeons ago in some other lifetime.. sounds and scenes unseen.. Yet the feelings linger.. What feelings are these, when were they felt, with whom and by whom?
The heavy drops of water make me light.. Make me nostalgic.. Take me away to a special place, somewhere long lost to the treacherous, bitter past.. Make me remember something long forgotten.. lost in the threads of time.. something beautiful and full of hurt.. yet i want to remember what it was.. what have i forgotten.. What had touched my heart so deeply and still i tore it away from me???
Why do i fail to remember? The sudden gush of cold wind.. The cool breeze caressing my open hair.. and my tired neck.. The sound of drops falling from leaves on the tin roof.. The chatter of friends, the music pumping from cell phones.. Everything reminds me of it.. But what is it, thats unknown.. All this has never happened before and yet it reminds me of something.. Which i treasured and held close to my heart, my each heartbeat reminds me of it thanks to this weather! Thanks to this time and this place and my being here..
I try to let go, but the feeling clings and it is so lovely.. I've forgotten it cause i wanted to.. I let it go and so I have it no more.. The unseen memory feels like heaven so what must the real thing have been?? Why did i lose it, and why can i not let go now.. Why do we remember things long forgotten, why do we rise the ghosts from their dusty graves and how can these rotten memories be so beautiful and how can this not hurt one bit? How can it soothe me and not make me restless? How can i be at peace in such a situation? How, What, When, Where and Who??