The Soulful Atom

Past few months have been a roller coaster. Well i know most of my life has been nothing but that as most of you very well know.. But past few months were nothing like i ever imagined.. Feelings that i never thought existed.. The was pain, but a joy so much greater! And then suddenly it all ceases to exist! I wallow in grief.. like never before. There has never been anything as beautiful, or maybe i killed what i had.. When all this is happening, at this very moment.. I think i can never get over this.. I feel closer to what people call a nervous break down.. I did things some one only very desperate to hold on would.. But now from somewhere within.. deep inside me.. The flame glows.. the hope arises.. of a new beginning..
Perhaps my fate is that of a traveller.. Perhaps i'm supposed to only touch the lives of people and never hope to be a part of them..
Why does it hurt so much then? When some one is going on the right path leaving me behind?
It will hurt, after all i'm a human.. And i pride myself in being a good one.
So the time has come to move on.. Which i will because i can.. the only question bothering me was "do i really want to move on?".
But i feel its in my best interests to do so.. If some one had to be in my life.. be mine then would do it no matter what.. I did everything i had to. I never held anything back to myself.. I gave everything i had, everything i could do.. It was their to accept or reject.. I cannot change their feelings.. All i can do is show mine and do all in my capacity to make them happy n feel loved.. and so i did..

So now i decide, quickly as it seems, that i will move on.. This is the escape i look for.. A new beginning.. maybe because i cannot bear the pain. i cut it off from me.. I hope someday there will be some one who will stay back.. maybe some one always knew or maybe some one new..

The tiny flame of hope keeps me going.. So i am cherishing the past and being myself.. happy to be me.. :)


CP: i'm proud of you darling.. Your prince will come along.. And so will friends who will stay.. no matter what, exactly the way you are.. :)

BP: or then we can just boast that we are the best!! :D :D man!! im starving.. can i have some of the frosted moon please?? :D :D

CP: get lost BP!

BP: ouch! :P i too am leaving you! *folded hands, nose up*

CP: aww.. c'mere HUG!

BP: :D i love you!!

CP: i love you too!!

I love both of you!! :D :D

Cheers to new life! :)