The Soulful Atom

Well.. Been quite a while since i wrote anything.. considering the way i was writing for a past few weeks, 15 days is quite a while.. :) Anyhow, after the trip to UK, my first ever out of the country et al, back to the routine, office, home, family, friends.. The trip was frustrating mainly cause of the stop overs and the urgency to get back to the mess that my motherland is.. I have to agree that somewhere, however nice it may seem in the beginning, i was growing tired of all the discipline and things.. So, I was very eager to feel the Indian weather and indiscipline... Though many things happned while i was there.. many things there as well as back home, with people there and here.. on all fronts, emotional professional everything. the trip was very fruitful though i realised that i can stay away from my motherland for only so much time, and i can never even think of relocating or "settling down" anywhere other than in India.. which i always knew but after this trip my resolve has hardened, and im happy for it.

There are so many things happening around, again, on all fronts of life.. Personally i see myself changing a lot. New aspects of myself are being revealed to me, and i also realise the many ways in which i've changed, some of them are not very nice. I changed some parts of me unknowingly due to some experiences, mostly bad, that i had. And when something happened now, i realised that i need not behave that way any more! or rather i should be able to change my behaviour after taking into consideration the people i am with. There is no point judging all dogs in the same way and putting a mouth guard on them all, only because one of them bit you a few ages ago.. Surely think twice before you domesticate them, but no use not letting them come close enough to even understand what fur they are made of!

So a bit of learning on the personal front and loads of learning happening on the professional front. I also realised that the initial few disapprovals of things at work, have been dismissed. I realised that its just a process of adjusting self to new things and environments, and as long as you are confident about yourself and know what you can do, with a bit of able guidance and support, you need not bother self about any of the negative happenings. Many times we think they happen just to bog us down but at times its good to think that they are just to give you the push needed to take off and reach heights you never even knew existed. Well, its somewhat like that right now, though i still am getting a bit bogged down time and again, but its ok.. as long as i can get up and get going.. ;)

Also realised (though its going on since a long time now) that i have to take care of my health, its high time now. That is another thing which is contributing to my slowing down!! :O and at this age its highly unacceptable, so corrective and certain preventive measures are being taken.. ;)

Do we notice a sudden change in the style of writing?!?! :O wonder why!! some more pondering required. MAN! i dont like this!! :( lol..

BP: chillax babe..
CP: BP you gotta take at least some thing seriously some time!
BP: yeah.. i know *serious face* like, i seriously need to get those custard cookies baked! RIGHT NOW! :P :P ;)


But the also amongst all the mess and rapid transitions and no time to really stop and think i guess i am living.. enjoying it, even the pain of certain losses, which keep haunting me.. The nostalgia which keeps coming back to take me away to a different world which all of a sudden has ceased to exist and which shall never return.. amongst all of this, when you find a buoy which helps you stay afloat, which lets you do as you wish, which makes you believe in yourself, which helps you find your strength.. you tend to really live, and be.. be yourself.. when you find the buoy within yourself, and maybe outside too.. you really live.. and live in the moment.. Lots more happening, and lots more to write. Hopefully next posts will be better. This one doesn't seem much like me, and i don't like it either.. Hope my words stay with me and accompany me in the same capacity as before!! Cheers!!