Being scared of the result, at times I refuse to see/know it. Even if it has turned out to be what I wanted. So i fight against what i want, push it so hard that it won't even get time to reveal itself.
I'm scared of winning more than I'm of losing. Perhaps have got so used to losing that winning just doesn't seem probable, or i've turned into a die hard pessimist in the matters of heart, or i just want to be dramatic and a tragic hero or maybe.. I'm just scared.. of losing after having won..
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