The Soulful Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

I've begun. Many times before. To let go.. Here today, on your first death anniversary, I begin again (you would've loved this reference). Its a middle somewhere, of my many beginnings.. This letting go isn't, however, as the ones I've tried before, where a little bit of hope always lingered. You will always be an important part of me, i did put you on the pedestal back then and never ever did i removed you from there.. I will check back on you from time to time. When the sky looks particularly pretty or when the raindrops ease into a quiet peaceful rythm.. (How desperately you wanted peace, and how vehemently i snatched it away from you, until the very end..) But i will not hold on tightly now, nor look for you in every bald head or every whiff of polo black.. I'm letting go of your active fragments.. A tear may escape if i'm caught off guard once a while.. But the fragments won't pierce my very soul anymore, they have now quietened, ensconced deep inside somewhere and i shall let them rest, covered in the warm blanket of all the things that joined us and the universe.. They shall rest there, as will you- here and elsewhere.. My sweet bull. It was always a declaration- until the very end. #Always.

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