The Soulful Atom

I see this when I think of you: a bright, sparkly blue sky. Our meadow behind the house, wild grass, large gnarly old trees with hollows that are homes to sundry squirrels and birds—owls, to be specific. The grass is lush green and adorned with fresh dewdrops. Birdsong fills the air every morning and evening. The sun lights up the dew like little sparkly fairy lights in the daytime. The fireflies take charge of the same at twilight. I sigh. I find myself filled with awe, disbelief, and gratitude every single time. You come out and link your arm with mine as I take in the morning view from the porch. The delicious smell of warm coffee wafts out along with you, your palms always so warm. You worry about the calluses being rough, and yet you are so soft with me. I love them anyway. I slide my arm around your waist and look up at you. How in the world did I get so lucky? You are looking into the distance, but you smile your crinkled smile, and the crow’s feet take their rightful place around your eyes. You notice me even when you are not looking at me. You notice me even when I'm not around. “What is my poet going to write today then?” you ask, and then turn around to plant a peck on my cheek and then my lips. I can sense your restraint in not going in for a full-blown kiss. You know how I savour this time of the day with you softly by my side. The house is made of brick, stone, and wood, with a bit of glass thrown around for sparkle. You know how much I adore sparkly things. Otherwise, the big wide wooden windows open up fully without any bars or grills onto the front porch and the back meadow, letting in the crisp air and warm sunshine. It’s never too cold nor too hot inside. The temperature is just about right in all types of weather. I remember the time when we discussed everything our home would be—not just the physical features but the safe haven for us and whoever might need it. I'm so grateful every day that we stood by each other, just like we had said we would, and brought this dream to life. A safe haven for our kids to grow up in and to come back to always. A home filled with trinkets and animals, and yet clean enough. I love that all I hear in the morning is birdsong and the wind at times, until you turn on the radio after ensuring I'm no longer in the groggy morning haze. I love how you have always looked out for me—even without me knowing. I feel seen with you. All those years I spent being invisible. You came into my life too late, and I into yours, of course. But I guess it’s never too late or too early. It’s always the right time. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been who we are. We probably had to learn a lot—the value of many things—to be able to respect and value what we both brought to the table. To see each other beyond human egos and see each other as humans, not just the roles we play. To be able to truly see and appreciate ourselves and one another. This morning, this warmth, this smell of coffee, our arms around each other as we stand adoring these sensations and your smile by my side—this is what I wanted to do with you.