The Soulful Atom

When we were kids, there was always that one tooth which took forever to fall out. It rested on its hinges but it was too painful to pull it out so we let it be. I used to love moving it all over on its hinges. With the taste of blood oozing out at times. I like the pain when i dug it deep in the gums. i didn't pull it out immediately. It was a pass time, pull it so far as it was attached to the gum only with a tiny bit of sinew, and then moving it around and pushing it hard into the gums. Eventually i did pull it out though. But it was those moments i looked forward to before ever tooth fell. And was disappointed if it fell out too quickly.
Then for a brief period i thought i was going to become a cutter. Thankfully i didn't. Though i did cut a couple of times, i got a grip and let go. Physical pain has always given a high of sorts. I believe it helps us remember we are still human. Usually i go looking for pain, more than trouble.
Doing things which will bring pain knowingly because its the pain that i look for. As the pretty famous text message goes- When we grew up we realized skinned knees were better than broken hearts. As i grew up i realized there is a different sort of pain that i can try without getting any obviously physical deformities (except the eyes). That is falling in love. More than getting your heart broken its the whole concept of falling in love. Its not a game though, lest you guys start judging! *rolling eyes* No. its no fun if its played as a game. Then you won't be totally into it and then the impact won't be as desired! Though eventually it is a game or a mockery because what you what is different from what you are doing in a way.
There is always a need for pain to keep going. Its like a drug without which life seems dull. I just recently realized this when i was cribbing about nothing interesting happening and then i saw something one tv which made me cry. And the peace that engulfed me by way of those tears was something i've experience very rarely. I loved the feeling of having tears in my eyes and a sting in the chest! But the feeling didn't last long because just like i'm addicted to pain (a recently discovery) my defense mechanism is equally stronger! (yeah-- DUHH!) so i've to be very careful about how i employ these two and when! Otherwise one will overpower the other at all wrong times!

Pain is something that keeps me going. That, i believe, keeps everyone going. So stop fighting it and experience the beauty it brings about. The eyes.. It works wonders on the eyes, so long as you know how to use it and not get lost in it, like any other drug! :)


BP- Cheers! With a glass full of pain! A votre sante (ou chagrin! ;) )
CP- Wow BP you are getting cooler! :D :P Atom you are driving me nuts. Now i've to keep up with this!