The Soulful Atom

It was after many days that i read someone who used to be a very important person in my life. It made me think of the same words approximately 3 years back. When promises were made and similar words were used. Over time things changed, they have an uncanny ability to specially when its pleasurable, and it stopped being all rosy. They say good relations are made by people who want to make it work. I believe its easy to fall in love but hanging on and working to make it work is the difficult part, and especially so when its just one person putting in everything into that relationship. Then i guess it ceases to be a relationship cause there is just one entity. So, I had stopped reading him cause it brought on only pain to see anything and everything to do with that person. There comes a time you have given in a hundred percent and perhaps more, and then it is just not possible to trust any more cause it has been hacked down to muck. The pain then turns into indifference and thats the death of love. Then no matter what the other person does to try and make it upto you, if at all they do, it just is not good enough cause it is too late. But then you realize after nosing around a bit, cause you had cared once upon a time, that the person doesn't care! That they have moved on, and it is a good thing too. It is liberating. You realize that the pain has only made you stronger to take life by its horns- (i believe at times that life is a big old cow just ramming you about :D other times she is a river and still other times a lot of other things! ;) )

Even though you feel at peace knowing the other person has moved on, there are moments of despair where you wonder if you would laugh again, or if its just tears and indifference for the rest of your life. Life decides to be a bit kinder just when all hope is lost, though not all in my case cause I'm the eternal painful fountain of hope more about it here (gah!)! Instead of a lemon it throws you some sweet lemonade!
Life gives you exactly what you need when you start feeling that you want life to leave you alone. She makes sure that you don't give on her!! When someone comes along, yes they always do don't they, who is just not willing to see you cry and makes sure that they stay by your side and make you smile and in this case laugh my lungs out! I had never ever thought that i would ever watch the movie- Gangs of Wasseypur let alone enjoy and LOVE the movie! And more over crave to watch the part 2 as well! The list of movies keeps growing.. Even somethings in Sarkar and an old crazy one called Gunda!! Just when i thought i was done with all my first times, here life comes running to correct me, to flood me with new experiences! Finding nuances in movies, and in everything around.. And just laughter.. So much of it that it hurts! There is no need for any societal tags, no restrictions, no possession, and yet its all there, unsaid, unwritten. They say its two hearts that decide the status of a relationship not the name/tags people give it. The reassurance and having someone around no matter what makes you start believing in hope again! Specially when reassurance and companionship was what was missing before. So yes life does do you dome good some times, sometimes in way of a quiet understanding smile and sometimes by ear splitting, tear inducing laughter!! The whole world now seems much brighter. I'm amazed at how someone has the strength to make life seem so much better even when they are harboring so much pain inside themselves. I hope will be able to take away some of that pain and add in to the mutual laughter! :) God bless you my chipmunk (aka bear) :*