The Soulful Atom

When do we become dependent and independent? Is it a matter of choice or is it not? Is it conditioning? I usually end up blaming everything on conditioning, shaping of something/someone is what is going to define how its going to work.. Perhaps, perhaps not. We being human have a choice since we have something called as an advanced brain which can think. But how many of us really do choose? How many of us break free of our habits? Habits which cause us pain or inconvenience? How many of us are even aware that we are slaves to these habits?
I used to be independent.. Though i had a desire to be dependent maybe for some things, to be able to experience somethings.. I never got it. However looks like somewhere, over this long period of time from teenage till late twenties, i became dependent on the whole idea of having someone to depend on. It feels like an extra growth on the inside of my head which needs to be urgently cut off. My independence is my identity. That is what made me love myself and in turn the people around! Though i never got that one dream fulfilled i had myself and i had hope and dreams.. Its time to shed the cloak of dependence and do things for ourselves. Eventually only cause you have a dream doesn't mean people are going to fulfill it even if they love you and say that they will make your dreams come true! I wish they never said such things cause fools like me end up believing and trusting and getting hurt then when they never do anything.
If your way of loving someone if different from their way of loving you then say it! Don't lead the other person on cause it causes immense hurt and then love etc seems like a fake facade..
Here's to independence! On the pseudo eve of my birthday.. Here's to being re-born and breaking free.. Here's to liberation from habit and conditioning.. Here's to being myself!! :) :) Cheers!! :) :)