The Soulful Atom

Some words of a dear one HERE made me think, needless to say, about a very recent wound.. Which i know will not heal as quickly as i would hope it to, and hence needs to be covered up as much as possible. But such words just very cruelly rip off the band-aid and leave me unmentionably breathless and choked up with tears. Tears and pain for him who lost his love to death. And me for i lost someone to pain. What would i not do to unite those two lovers. I wish beyond my being to be able to do something to help him. To help the guy i am begining to spend me life with to meet his lover. I would give my life to bring her back. Life in return of a life. Its such a depressingly helpless feeling. When there was a time i was willing to give my life to be with the one i loved beyong anyone else and i was brushed aside time and again. What is this destiny? When two people who are capable of loving with such intensity are stuck with each other, away from the ones they once truly loved? Will anyone ever understand your action or you, when you decided to voluntarily walk away? When you know you are not capable of cutting people off, when you are capable of forgiving and giving other chances no matter how it batters your heart to do so. When you know you loved truly and purely with your whole being.
Maybe this is what i was meant to have. But he had it already so it doesn't help but makes me feel more criminal that i have him now. Its beautifully painful. She will always be in his heart and i will protect her place there with all my might. I love her as much now.. For she gave him that pure joy once that i too gave away to someone else. I'm glad he had her. Wish we had met sooner. Before all the damage was done to both. Thinking back maybe that is what brought us together. We are levelled. Eclipsed by life. But the sun will come out. Slowly. It can't stay hidden.

Here's to you both.. You are always in our hearts. Protected by each other. She is by me and he is by him. We love you. Alive or dead. "Always" like we promised.